Keireki to Itami
by kawaii.sasuke
Summary: He left her. She lived through years isolated. He came back... unexpected, changed, hurt, confused. She sees into him. He realizes then all is clear, but it isn't over. [SasuSaku] Skip prologue if you want.
1. Prologue

**Note: **Changed some things in the story, but it's still in the category of Naruto. So… um, don't freight if you see something weird, I just want to change it so that it flows with my storyline, oh… and I do this a lot anyway so yeah.

Prologue

He was swift enough to make me puff for air, he was always stronger. I trailed after him. I chased him on the rooftops and finally to the Gate. Everything was going to fast, I couldn't handle it so I just did what my heart desired. This made me panic because we were out of the village now, running through the trees, jumping branch to branch.

I couldn't take it anymore, this was going way to fast, I couldn't ever catch up to him and I knew that he wouldn't wait for me… not at a time like this. It was too important to him. "Wait!" Surprisingly enough he halted. But why, for me or my words? "You can't leave…"

He didn't answer but dropped his head. The rain poured gently.

"You can't do this just for revenge. Do you think that it will make anyone happy? This isn't the right way to handle things, Sasuke-kun. I can't just let you go like that…." Every moment, I was forcing these words out of me. They didn't come out just that easily but with pressure and fear. It was obvious already that he wouldn't stay, just for this girl that was foolish.

He seemed to be waiting.

This, this was the time for me to say what I had always wanted to say. But I couldn't, it was too hard although… I shook my head and told myself to not let out the tears. "Revenge isn't the way. I can help you if you need the help, anything - just something that-"

"Masaka!" came his sharp reply. "No, I can't stay here. I am an avenger, I have to do this." There wasn't anything that I could think of saying at the moment I put my hands to my chest in loose fists and listened for what he had to say next. His hand turned into a fist. "I have to kill him… I have to kill Itachi!"

I shook my head. "How is that going to help? When he dies what will you do then? Was your whole goal in life was to go towards this goal? There are other things to think of, too."

"…." I only heard his hard breathing through the soft splattering of the rain.

"The whole thought of this is foolish, can't you see that!" I screamed. "Jodan nai yo! Don't be like this… I thought I knew you, but how can you? You devoted your life for revenge… life isn't like that."

"My life isn't supposed to be like this!" he muttered. "Aitsume! It was all his fault, I was to weak then, I need to avenge my family, we could have live, all of us together." All of this, he was going through all this pain but still there wasn't a time that he didn't cry except when he had seen his parents. People break down when they have a lot in themselves, not telling anyone for comfort. But he… he was different, he was someone who could keep all this pain to himself. I wanted to free him from pain, I wanted him to live for a more reasonable thing.

"Suki desu," I called out sadly. It was foolish. It was stupid. It was something that he would see right through and notice that it was just nothing. But his words came.

"….Arigato," he whispered.

Right then, I felt him walk up to me, behind my back, I cried and it couldn't be helped. Through all these years I knew that he would just ignore me whatever I did, to help him, to catch him when he fell, to comment on him and now… he just replied to me in an actual decent way. I shivered in the rain and cried hard hiccups giving difficulty for me to breath. My soul wanted his tending, his arms around me shielding me from the cold. He was always a hard one to crack, a cold hard rock but apparently I saw - through all the years that we've known each other - he opened up little by little. And now this, why did this have to come!

"Sakura, gomen nasai," a deep, handsome, baritone voice rang in my ears.

"Huh?" Before I could even turn and ask why he had said that I blacked out after feeling a suddend impact at the base of my neck.

Sakura would just get in the way once again if she were to cry and beg me to stay. I had no time for this, this was my chance to get more power, to defeat Itachi. But on the other hand, Sakura was the one who had always looked after me even if I showed to her that I didn't need any tending or wouldn't reply. She was someone who was actually seeing through my appearance and was looking pass through that…. Masaka! She didn't matter to me, she was just one of those fan girls tha- I stared down at her still body lying on the damp ground.

My hands seemed to have a mind of their own, I bent down and scooped her up, then placing her on a nearby bench. I forced myself to smile then left in a split second.

Maybe Sakura was meant more than nothing….

**Translations**

These are for some of the Japanese words I used from what I know in this part of the sory.

**Masaka:** "Ridiculous!"

**Aitsume: **To damn a person. It can be either male or female. (Damn him/her!)

**Jodan nai yo: **"Don't be ridiculous!" Since there is the -nai sufix, it looks towards a more negative direction.

**Suki desu: **Usually when this word is translated in English people tend to translate this to, "I like you," but it actually exspresses more than that - more than like. So in real, this is more like "I love you".

**Arigato: **I bet you guys know this one! It's thank you. There's also "Domo arigato" or "Domo arigato gaizamasu" but I chose to stick with this one.

**Gomen nasai: **This means "I'm really sorry". You can also gomen that's also fine but I get used to gomen nasai more.

**Keireki to Itami: **This is the title of my fic. I'm sure that I didn't use the words right but um... I did any way! (I'm a loser) Anyways, "keireki" means the past of one's being, a person's past. "To", prounouced as "toe" is something like "and". Itami, is like pain, or the pain between hatred and love. So in this case the title is "One's Past and the Pain Between Love and Hatred". Kinda long, eh?

**A/n: **Well, well, I know that I haven't finished my other fanfics from other categories (drops head in shame) but, I promise that I will finish them as I will work for this one. Please, read and review, I'm trying to get better at this so I need to know what I have to fix (I find out that people hardly never read my fics cries and so I want to change that. The storyline might be looking very lame at the moment, but I got some tricks up my sleeve, so I please you can you guys just give it a try? Thanks!


	2. Don't Give up, You're Not Done

**A/n: Wow, I don't think that this fic is going well, is it?… (cries) I'll just give it some time, I guess. Oh and sorry, I could have said for you guys not to read the first chapter err, prologue but um, I kinda forgot, blah.**

Oh, and I got some ideas from the Naruto movie (blah) so if you've seen it that's why some things are similar. But that'll only be for this chapter.

**Disclaimer: Oh and (lol, again) I do not own any characters from Naruto, all characters are rightfully owned by their owners/creators, and you get the deal.**

* * *

**Chapter one:**

Don't give up, you're not done

* * *

Two lingering single bandages that were tied around a shaft of the kunai blew along with the currents of the wind, that ends were joined at the knot. The head of the kunai rested deep within the trunk of a broken tree. The winds blew harder every second. The battle field was quiet. The warriors were only left to suffer the pain but were still alive.

"We will not be able to escape. Accept this death quietly and we will be saved…. There are no more choices for us to take." A samurai supported his unstable body by gripping the handle of his katana. Sweat poured down at his temples mixing with the tears of the darkened sky.

One of his weakened companions laid still on the ground- which what he thought was going to be his deathbed. He was loosing hope every second, thoughts lingering around in his mind. "Tetsunomura… this whole journey was worthless. I shouldn't have joined. My family… back home."

Another companion of the party laid on the branch of a low standing tree. Every joint in his body hurt. His arms hung lifeless on either side of him. "Death, that is the only thing that we can give ourselves to now. There isn't anything else to do, nothing more. Our only choice is to give up…."

In the middle of the battlefield, not far away from her other three companions, she stood from her kneeling position. Her katana was deeply fixed straight into the ground. She didn't turn her head to talk to them instead her head was being held up high, looking at the other half of the field. _We can give up yet, we can still save him…. _"Don't give up…." her lips moved slowly as she whispered. Then louder, "Don't give up!"

The soldier with the katana in the ground forced himself to plainly look up to her strong blue eyes. "But, Ayuki…"

Finally she tore her gaze off from ahead of her and looked over her shoulder to meet eye contact. "Tetsunomura, we can still save him. There must be a way. Remember who this is we came for. All this way!" Close to tears she quickly looked away. "There has to be a way, we can still find it, I'm sure of it. This isn't the end. We still have a chance…."

Though at different angles, each man tried their very best to catch sight at Ayuki, whether sitting, lying or leaning, they tried. "Ayuki…" the man whispered who was laying on the hard, cold ground.

A young man stood at the ruins of a building, horrifying smoke trailing around him. He stood there as if he ruled everything, that everything was under his commands. His icy blue gaze were in the direction of last living warriors. He, himself wasn't a warrior, he was a fiend who wanted power lost of control. Lost, completely lost. He didn't know what he was doing anymore. Focusing on the female he stood, stunned of her appearance. Shaking his head then laughing maniacally, he raised his arms and took all the chakra he had, bunching it together into one ball.

Ayuki bowed her head respectfully near to tears. _This isn't you…_"Gomen…" she whispered, "but I have to do this. This is the only way that I could think of." Taking a firm grip on the handle of the katana, she unsheathed it and held it up high. Her companions bravely picked up their weapons and solemnly stayed by Ayuki. Taking a deep breath she let it out sighing. "Gomen nasai, but I have to do this It's the only way."

He called upon the dead bodies somehow bringing life into them. One was heading towards Ayuki.

* * *

"Oh my gosh!…" A pink haired teen called out, voice fading at the end.

* * *

Easily, she dodged the in coming attach, turned around and thrust the sword out in front of her. Though it hadn't touched her enemy, some sort of force field advanced from her katana and into the dead. It fell to the ground once again, lifelessly. When it had fallen, she turned to look behind her. Her companions followed her lead and looked behind themselves, only to see hundreds of more bodies rising from the places that they had died. _Hiesuke, please forgive me…_

"Give up, Ayuki. I am no longer that weakly you were in love with. There is no chance that he will be returning either. Your life ends here! Give up!" Recklessly he threw his arms in the air, gathering more power. The rain and the winds grew stronger as if he had called on them.

"I am never giving up, Hiesuke! As long as I'm alive I still have a chance to bring you back to me." Her gazed bore harder into his. A burning kind of power burned around her. "And I will show you that the old Hiesuke isn't gone from this world!" With confidence and fear she turned around to look at her companions as the light glowed stronger around her. Releasing a breath and turned back to face the one that used to be her love, but in reality he still was inside.

Raising her katana straight into the air in her right hand, left, outstretched in front of her, meeting the blade with a palm. Alongside of her and in front of her, the companions that had started the journey with her followed her lead. In each unique way, they held her weapons, burning their chakra.

Wrapping around each other the chakra bonded and was released by their hearts' content aiming for Hiesuke. His chakra against theirs. Ayuki saw this and moved her left hand to the top of the katana handle, thrusting the sword out in front of her. "Ha… aaaaahhhh!" The beam of chakra advanced forward with encouraging power.

Eyes growing wider, Hiesuke, took a retreating step backwards mouth agape. It hit him hard, knocking him off his feet. The chakra then shot up to the sky where there was a hole in the clouds.

* * *

Light shone on a white skinned, pink haired teen. Her green orbs were wide, watching every scene in front of her eyes…

* * *

The beam of chakra shone and spread through, up above the clouds, getting rid of the evil. The sky began to clear up, the sun once again coming out. Ayuki held her breath and lowered her weapon… They had done it. They had saved everyone… but had they saved him?…

"We did it…" whispered Tetsunomura. "But did Hiesuke…." he was unable to finish as he saw a body from the sky fall, fall towards the earth. Ayuki dropped her katana and ran to the body that fell in the middle of the battlefield. Tears ran down her white cheeks not because of sadness but because she had saved some one that was important to her. He was alive!

She took his head in her arms and pulled his body onto her lap. Crying she buried her face into the crook of his neck, jet-black raven hair tickling her cheek. "Hiesuke… Hiesuke…." she sniffed and cried, "Hiesuke!"

His hair fell over his eyes and off to the side of his cheeks. Ayuki lowered his head onto her lap. Using a lot of effort he raised a hand and with then back of it, he brushed her cheek. "Ayuki…" he whispered hoarsely. Then smiled weakly, "Domo arigato gozaimasu… you saved me."

Ayuki shook her head. Hiesuke looked up at her questioning her act with a look in his eyes . "We saved each other…." With a sudden movement he sat up, surprising her. Taking her face in his hands he smiled and leaned in, softly caressing her lips. Tears streaked down, meeting the earth….

"Oh my gosh, that was seriously a good movie!" A blonde haired ninja yelled happily clapping his hands together. His friend alongside of him sighed, ashamed. He was practically talking to the screen. "Good job, Ayuki! That was a well done act! That-"

A man in his mid ages ran in to the theatre room screaming up at the two beings that were up on the ceiling. "Get down from there. I don't let bastards come in for free to watch this movie!"

Distracted, Naruto lost control of his chakra sending himself down to the ground below landing in the aisle way. "Tatatatata! Itai!" He painfully grabbed the back of his neck and cussed words under his breath.

Seeing that he had came down, the man ran up to Naruto as if he was going to stand and bolt out of the theatre room any moment. "What were you two doing up there sneaking in to watch the movie?" He bore his gaze into Naruto. This caught the attention of other people who were watching.

Flinging his hands out to the side, to emphasized his defence Naruto answered with a bit of a weak spot in his voice. "It's not like that. I have a ticket!" Seeing that the man didn't take his answer, Naruto added, "Seriously, I didn't sneak in to watch the movie! Honestly, I swear that I didn't!"

"Then where's your ticket you-"

Suddenly a teen dropped down from the ceiling for Naruto's defence, landing perfectly stable on the ground. She used to be… err, large-fore headed but over time she out grown it, letting the beauties that he always had stand out. Brushing out the pink hair out of her face with one hand she sighed and held up their ticket pass. "I have our tickets… So we weren't sneaking in. It was just training while watching the movie at the same time."

Embarrassed the man rubbed the back of his neck, especially because he was talking to a female who clearly was a top member of the ANBU team of Konoha. "Eh, sumimasen… you two are Konoha ninja, right?"

Pulling up Naruto, Sakura sighed and headed out the theatre room. "Hai. Naruto, I think the training's done, besides, we can finish the movie some other time!" She walked ahead thoughts starting to drifting in and out of her mind. The movie… she felt like she was the one in Ayuki's place and well… _he_ was Hiesuke's place. She had wanted to save him but only… failed. No wait, she was still alive… she still had a chance-

"Oi, Sakura-chan! Matsu! But this is really a good movie, why can't we finished it now? Itsuka-san isn't going to kill us if we don't be there in half an hour! She'll just get really pissed!" He trailed after her trying to avoid the glances of people he didn't know.

"I don't really care either, she'd understand, Naruto. But…" Her eyes looked out ahead of her, scenes from the movie starting to haunt her of memories from before. _I loved him… I really did…._ She shook her head. "Naruto, I just," sighing she smirked, "just feel weird so I think I'm heading out."

"Matsu! I know why you're feeling weird: it's because the moving was soooo breath taking that it stunned you with amazement!" he yelled running up to her side.

She sighed, again. "No… it's just… just for some other reason. You go finish the movie, I'm heading back to head quarters." Biting her bottom she made her way out and dashed out the door telling herself to not cry.

Naruto lingered behind, standing there, watching her leave. "Sakura-chan." Suddenly he didn't feel like he was in the mood of finishing the movie without her. He wanted her to watch it with him so that he could see that he was happy but in the end she… she became sad once again. He balled his fists in his pockets as he made his way out the exit. He knew why she was like this.

_Sasuke, you bastard. Look what you did to her, she isn't the same as before! You bastard… and to leave just like that. She loved you… and you were like a brother to me…._

Shaking his head he looked up to the sky, having the sun blind him. It took a while before his eyes adjusted to the light. Deep inside he knew that the movie was just like Sakura's _misfortune _but her story wasn't finished, she still had a chance… a chance to make her own ending.

* * *

**Japanese translations**

**Gomen: **"Sorry"

**Tatatata! Itai: **The "tatatata part" is just a way to exspress yourself of ouch! "Itai" is the words that really says ouch.

**Hai:** Means, "yes", "yeah", "sure" you get the point.

**-chan: **Suffix ending. To adress your friend, or someone that's younger than you.

* * *

**A/n: Well, that took a long time for me to write. Well thanks for reading and don't forget to review, I got two so far! Thumbs up. Well I have to study for my French test :p. **


	3. Scars

**

* * *

**

**Chapter two**

Scars

* * *

Hastily walking down the dirt pondered walkway, Sakura didn't feel like talking at the moment, to her friends, to Itsuka-san, no one. She was in one of those moods again. The moods when she would isolate herself for the whole day or even a week…

She wanted to be mature, she wanted to know if she _was _mature at seventeen years of age but she still didn't know the real meaning of growing up. _He_ always seemed to be grown up just like _he _was like when he was younger. Always taking in the pain and hiding it, always trying to move forward and never forgetting what his goal in life was. _He _was always strong but what was she to _him? _Sakura felt like she was a complete weakling compared to him but there was some things that he lacked… and in another way there was some things that she lacked herself.

"_I always thought that he was the one who finished the side to me from which I lacked skills of fighting, of being strong," Sakura thought. He was a part of her, to finish her, even if he liked it or not. Therefore, leaving… just for more power, leaving her without a proper good-bye, broke a part out of her. Thus her mental being suffered. She wanted to wake up each daybreak knowing that he was there, to wake up knowing that she could take care of him, to wake up and know that he was alive. But for years… she was sceptic about all of this._

She shook her head as she walked down the main hallway at head quarters, to Itsuka's office. How could she be thinking like that? Of course he was alive! He had to be. He wouldn't die that easily. He was Sasuke of the Uchiha clan! Slowly, proceeding as if the door was made of glass, Sakura made her way in refraining from slapping her face, just remembering that she had forgotten to knock.

"O-wabi itashimasu, gomen nasai." Sakura bowed regret rising, creeping up her arms. "Itsuka-san it's because-"

She chuckled lightly tapping the bottom of her pen on her desktop. "Sakura, do itashimashite. Lucky for you, I don't mind it so much now because I'm not in a bad mood…" Drifting off, Itsuka shifted in her seat, propped her elbows and put her chin in her hands. "Sakura." The green orbed teen jumped from being startled. Itsuka smiled and leaned back in her chair. "So how did things turn out, at the movies I mean?"

Tapping her toes on the ground Sakura made sure that she wasn't going to make any eye contact with Itsuka. "Well… it's kind of well…" Why wasn't she able to let out the words that she wanted to say? _Oh yeah, because they're my personal thoughts. _"Well, let's just say that it really makes me think about my life and how it's really related to the movie. It's just that…" Itsuka observed her face carefully. "That," Sakura's voice dropped to a whisper, "that I felt like I'm in Ayuki's position at the moment."

There wasn't much for Itsuka to say already having thoughts in her head for conclusions. "Sakura, you're free to leave my office. And for the day, you can take it easy. Thank you for your report."

Bowing respectfully Sakura had a slight lump in her throat. "A-arigato…" Straightening herself she turned and left with thoughts darting in and out of her mind. _Why did you want us to watch the movie?_ Sakura thought. _Especially when you wanted to hear my report about it? There is something that you are hiding, Itsuka-san and I want to know what it is, hopefully someday. _

On her way out she concentrated on the dirt road, eyeing every small pebble and grain that her eye could catch a sight of. She mumbled to herself under her breath…

"Sakura, matsu!"

She jumped, rubbing her arms. It was Ino… Sakura swept her mood and painted over a new face. "Ohayo Ino… Nani?" she asked quietly when Ino caught up beside her catching her breath.

"Oi, I was just saying hi. Geez… Anyways I was just thinking, do you remember that the festival that Tsunade-sama is thinking about?" With question Sakura nodded. "Well I wanted you to come with me and-" Opening her mouth, Sakura was about to protest until Ino lifted a finger and went, "Ah, ah, ah. Let me finish. I was saying that I wanted you to come with me and Shikamaru and it'd be strange for you to go without someone… since this is the Festival of Hatsukoi we're talking about. And there was this really hot guy that I just thought…." she trailed off when she saw Sakura look away from her and up ahead of herself instead as if focusing on something far away.

Taking a deep breath she responded in a calm voice, "Remember, I like someone else so I don't want to go."

Ino's mouth fell agape then she smirked. "It's Sasuke, isn't it?… Right, Sasuke."

Sakura slightly twitched then nodded trying to forget about her reaction. She hesitated but answered anyway. "Right… Sasuke." It felt raw- his name, rolling off her tongue so smooth. It was a while since she last said his name.

Ino placed her hands on her hips. "Sakura, Sakura, Sakura. You're still going after him? I mean he left the Leaf years ago and never made contact with us. Face it, he's a missing-nin and you-"

With clenched fists Sakura halted, pivoted on one foot so that she would face Ino and spat surprisingly in her face, "And you should shut up! Damare! I know that and never forgot about it so would you just stop rubbing it in? All that stuff, just stop rubbing it in!"

A bit taken back, Ino stepped away from Sakura waving her hands, palms facing Sakura. "Hey, gomen nasai, I was just…." Her blue eyes followed Sakura as she just left refusing to say a good-bye. Rubbing her head Ino thought, "_Great, I think I over did it…"_

* * *

**That Night**

Sakura shifted in her bed feeling uncomfortable just like she did for so many days, for so many years. Her jade orbs narrowed focusing on my mofu as her mind thought of _him _and everything else. Maybe Ino was right, maybe she-

"_No can do, Sakura! Don't listen to her, listen to your heart. It's your life and your own choices. Sakura, you love him then go for it. Just like what happened in the movie, remember?"_

Shutting out her inner self Sakura shut her eyes tight and tried falling asleep. Every minute seemed like an hour something that Sakura felt like years just lying there, tossing and turning. When she would lie on one side she would get tired of that position and move to her other side. Once that side was tired she would move again. Frustrated she sat up and gazed blankly at the wall in front of her. Sleep was something that she was not getting for weeks. Too many things were on her mind.

Bringing her knees into her chest she wrapped her arms around then and rested her chin on her knees. "What does he think of me?" she whispered shutting her eyes tight leaning her forehead on her forearms. "Why does he think I'm so weak?…" Tears lingered at the rims of her eyes dangerously hanging off the edges. "What's so wrong with me?" Her shoulders shook from her cries. She remembered his face… his words.

_Looking briefly over his shoulder Sasuke answered, "Because you're annoying." Sakura stood there stiff…_

"_After all the missions we did, you are weaker than Naruto…"_

"_You shouldn't take the Chunin exam, you're still too weak."_

But when she had found him leaving the village…

"_Suki desu…" Tears fell smoothly down Sakura's cheeks from her jade orbs._

_She felt him walk up to her back as his breath lingered on the back of her neck… he was so close. "…Arigato," he whispered._

He actually replied with something more than she had expected him to say.

Sakura pulled her mofu around her shoulders and shook, crying from all the memories. Maybe he wasn't worth waiting anymore but then again, at the same time Sakura didn't want to let him go. Not yet. Hiccupping, she still managed to let some words slip out of her mouth, "Sometimes I wished that we never met…" Maybe he was thinking the same thing…

* * *

His dark eyes fixed on the wall he remembered that day… 

"_Okasan… Otosan, what does he really think of me and Niisan?"_

_Looking over her shoulder she was able to take a sight of her son. "…Why all of a sudden?"_

_His eyes fell onto the table. "Before, Otosan had said to me, 'As I expected you are my child.'" He paused then resumed talking. "He was always saying that to Itachi and because of that, it was great when he said it to me."_

_The mother smiled closing her eyes, head tilting at an angle. "Well that's good isn't it?"_

_Still, his eyes were fixed on the table. "But lately… things haven't been going good between Niisan and Otosan." His mother opened her eyes surprised even if she knew already. "I am only a replacement for my brother," he whispered._

_She sighed quietly then replied, "Your brother is your brother and you are you. Otosan is always concerned for the both of you."_

_His head jerked up. "Then, why always Niisan!"_

_Her eyes softened as she answered, "That's not it. Otosan is the representative of the whole clan… If the clan is in an unfortunate position he must protect it."_

"_What!"_

_Putting out her hands in the air, palms facing the ceiling she said, "Itachi is the older brother of you and the next one to your Otosan… so the job of looking after the clan will be left to him someday. Your Otosan is the supervisor of that job so in that case he might be paying more attention to your Niisan." When his face fell she added while pointing to herself to emphasize the idea more she said, "But when alone and your father has conversations with me, all he talks about is you." _

_She smiled as the look on her sons face lifted. His eyes softened and he smiled weakly._

"Hmph. What would you think Otosan would think of you now, Itachi!" he asked the air hoarsely. Eyes falling to the ground as he gripped his wounded arm he whispered, "But worse… what would Sakura think of me now?… Am I becoming like Itachi?" His breath became heavy as he forced himself to move into another position. "She knew this before I had even noticed myself. She tried to stop me before I would loose everything but I ignored that."

Smirking was something too difficult for him to do. Instead he had a frown. "Now… I've almost lost everything that I had." Stomach uneasy he thought, "But… what I think about most is… have I lost you?…" Removing his hand from his wound he gazed down at the blood on his hands. "What have I done?…" he whispered.

* * *

Sakura choked and coughed. Grabbing a hold of herself she got off her bed and stumbled into the kitchen downstairs. Slowly drinking a glass of water she thought, _Why did I choke all of a sudden? This doesn't ever happen to me. Is it possible that he's thinking of me? What timing…" _She placed the glass back down onto the counter and stared at the glass. Frowning she whispered, "What exactly is he trying to do me? It's: he likes me, he doesn't like me, he likes me, he doesn't like me… Or is he just confused more than I am? 

"But he always seemed on the right track for things. He was strong. When I was pained I would have to stop for my own sake. When he was pained he would keep moving not stopping even if whatever conflict hurt his heart. He would eat up the pain… and I would bleed from the pain, those were two big differences between us."

As she got under her mofu she was able to close her eyes without having any tears fall from her eyes. But her mind wandered.

_What's left for me now? Maybe it's just my heart wishing for that… that miracle? Or is it just a scar that's left on my heart?_

* * *

**Japanese Translations**

A/n: I apologize if I forgot to translate any of the other ones in this chapter or the previous ones… -- heh.

**O-wabi itashimasu, gomen nasai:** This means, "I don't have an excuse, I'm really sorry."

**Do itashimashite:** It's nothing/no problem.

**Arigato:** I'm sure you guys remember by now, "Thank-you."

**Matsu:** Wait

**Ohayo:** "Good morning" or it could also be said, "Ohayo gozaimasu."**"**

**Nani:** What?

**Hatsukoi:** First love.

**Damare:** Shut up.

**Suki desu:** "I love you" but usually in English people translate it as "I like you."

**Okasan/Otosan/Niisan:** Mother/Father/older brother.

**Mofu:** Blanket.

**a/n:** Thank you to those who have read this! I know that the main plot isn't out on the reading yet but it'll soon be. And for the Sasusaku, it's coming!

-**Lenna**


	4. Not Alone

**Chapter 3**

Not Alone

* * *

Sitting alone on the battered floor, moon light spilling all over him he breathed hard and shut his eyes tight. "Chikusho… This isn't a really good time for this to be happening to me…." Grunting he supported himself by placing one hand on the floor, putting most of his weight to that side. Sweat trickled down his temples to the base of his neck.

A sudden sharp pain bit sourly into him on his left shoulder. Groaning he managed to clasp a hand over his "bruise", while closing his eyes. At the same moment of time he was also having a fever which he didn't expect he would have after being in the rain for so long. This had never happened to him… so many things were happening to him which he had no trouble with before.

Stumbling onto his futon he absently grabbed a thicker shirt and pulled it over his head, covering his body. He knew nothing about fevers… _"But she did," _whispered a voice at the very back of his pondered thoughts.

Ignoring whatever just happened in his mind he coughed and pulled his mofu over himself. Curling up into a ball under the comforter his eyes closed with a frown on his face. When would there be a time when he would fall asleep with a smile for once?

Annoyed he sat up. He wasn't asleep just yet. "Nani!…." he yelled abruptly considering that his fever wouldn't leave him. Clutching the mofu he sat up slowly and huffed for breaths of air with effort. Why was it so hard for him to breath all of a sudden? "Aah!" Immediately a hand was drawn to his neck, clutching it as if it believed the pain would leave if it continued to hold it.

"Aitsume. Kuso! Orochimaru you bitch…." he mouthed closing his eyes trying to ignore the pain.

Foolish.

He was foolish to follow him, seeking for more power but he dealt with it and Orochimaru released him one night. He knew that Orochimaru knew that he would not desert him, he knew that he was going to use that power one day. Determined to obtain something that not many people knew of long ago.

But…

He had thought it over, going with everything that Orochimaru had wanted him to do until now. Of course, he knew that Orochimaru would have caught onto him already but he still had a chance. One of the incoming days he was to return to the leaf. It was the only place where he knew he could have help without having to beg for it…. But then again since he had abandoned the leaf and left in search for power, doing his own missions that included threatening others, this would make the ANBU consider him as a missing ninja. Not everyone knew that he left for Orochimaru. Only the people that had known him better than others.

Sakura.

Had she told the others?

"I have a lesser chance now…" he whispered voice hoarse. "But with Sakura I could take the advantage over her - if she still is waiting for me - and from there I could use her." Sasuke never did care about that weak minded female. She was only an ex-team mate, nothing more.

"_Uso desu…" a small voice whispered from the corners of the room._

Sasuke jumped. Who was that?… And how could they have been hearing his own thoughts? Sasuke mouthed his words under his breath, "Great, am I now going crazy?…" He didn't dare to turn his head to look behind him when he heard a shuffle in the shadows. "Is anyone there?…"

"_Chotto hen na kimochi ga shimasu, Sasuke-kun?" _the voice ignored his question and asked a question itself. "_It feels strange… doesn't it? Like this, alone." _Slowly the Uchiha stood backing away to the wall arms defensively in front of him. "_You can't hurt me, Sasuke-kun. You may be alone, not being accepted anywhere but you can join me. But if you turn on me now I will stop you from continuing your plans… I will get to her first!"_

Sweat trickled down his temples as he raised a hand to wipe it away. _Shit, my fever isn't leaving._

The voice drifted away as it started to speak once again. "_Listen to me, Sasuke-kun, I will get to her fi-"_

The Uchiha didn't want to hear it. In a spilt second he had grabbed his things, heading to the Leaf as soon as possible.

The cold air cooled down his face as he jumped silently from branch to branch. In his head he knew that he wasn't going to make it by morning. That was not good. He could be seen in the village that he had turned his back to for power a few years ago. What he needed to do was arrive at night but at a time like this there was no choice for him to risk it and take his chance.

Shadows falling onto his face he smirked. "Hn." He wasn't going to go out on this. After all he was and Uchiha and Uchihas were geniuses.

* * *

"Sakura-chan… matsu!" 

"Naruto, have you been eating too much ramen lately?" the pink haired teen giggled. "You seem slower than usual." She jumped onto a higher branch of the tree that she and Naruto had chosen to take.

Laughing more to himself than at her "comment" he rubbed the back of his head with one hand while the other was balancing him making contact with the bark. "Ha… Hai!" His hand found his stomach. "But I never thought that ramen would do this to me…" he grunted.

"Zannan desu." Sakura sighed lowering herself to sit on the branch. Re-tying her bandages around her wrists for training, Naruto scowled at the sudden silence.

"Sakura-chan, that was not supposed to be funny! I mean we're talking about ramen here… the greatest kind of food in history and what it did to me!"

Lifting a brow she turned her head slightly to the right to glance at him. "It's just ramen," she shrugged smiling, "don't take it so seriously. I don't think it's because of the ramen, it's just because you're slacking off, don't you think?"

He blinked, clueless. When he realized what she meant he sighed in relief. "Phew!" Naruto exclaimed wiping the sweat from his forehead, "And I was actually starting to think that ramen was a bad thing for me. How could that thought even reach my mind." For a punishment he slapped himself in the face.

An awkward silence came to take its place. Jade eyes stared out into the sky and sighed sadly. Soon enough, Naruto took notice and jumped to her side. "Daijobu desu ka?"

She tilted her head slightly eyes fixed on some cloud that caught her eye. It took a while for her to answer but she still did. "…Hai… Daijobu desu." But she knew that she wasn't. "I'm fine!" To hide it all she covered it with a smile, unfortunately it didn't work on him this time.

"Sakura-chan, I know it's because of your _boyfriend._"

Startled from his words she snapped out of it almost falling off the branch. Naruto caught a hold of her arm and pulled her back up. "Naruto…" she whispered giving him a sideways glance. "You know that _he_ was never my… boyfriend."

"But you loved him."

"But he love didn't me. So that doesn't mean a thing."

He decided that he wasn't going to talk anymore knowing that she was right, all the way down to the roots of this conversation….

But…

But what they didn't know was that in the shadows, away from the light, someone was waiting. The stood with eager patience and was cautious. He shifted in his spot over hearing their conversation. Sighing and accepting that it didn't mean a thing to him he shook his head and went through his thoughts again.

_Okay… so I'm in the Leaf now and I got to her first. Was that really her though?… She seems so different, somewhat- and not that It mattered for anything. Something was bothering him and he clearly knew what it was: How was he exactly supposed to get close to them… or to her without that baka getting in his way. "Hn. Uzumaki, as I expected you're still the same."_

Licking his lips he focused his sharp eyes onto the clumsy blonde, he was never good at detecting illusionary techniques when someone was using them but Sakura on the other hand was something to take notice of. She was an excellent kunoichi who was a genius at detecting illusionary techniques.

The Uchiha thought, a plan forming in the depths of his mind.

_Maybe by using the henka no jutsu and transforming into some sensei, I could get Naruto to leave without him knowing that I'm a fake but… Sasuke shifted his eyes onto the Sakura he couldn't almost believe was her- Sakura would notice and warn him. He shook his head, that wasn't going to be any good. _

He'd have to get to her soon. Sasuke jumped deeper in the shadows and watched them.

"Oi, Sakura-chan, I'm gonna go home. This training worn me out, let's continue tomorrow, okay?" They both jumped off the branch skilfully landing on two feet firmly on the ground. Refraining from sighing Sakura nodded and her team mate left after a greeting of good-bye.

For the mean time she was going to go home and take a break herself. Shaking her head she exited their training area and back into the main part of the village.

She thought she was alone but she wasn't.

* * *

"Aww… I shouldn't have cooked this much," Sakura sighed putting down her bowl and stared at the other bowl with rice. She tapped her chopsticks annoyed at the silence. Every once and a while she would pop rice and food into her mouth. "It sure seems lonely when you're eating dinner and don't finish your food…." 

Convinced that she wasn't going to be able to finish her food she stood and walked over to the counter. Placing her bowl in the sink after emptying it from rice she sighed and shook her head. "What am I talking about I am alone after all tonight."

With a grunt she somewhat sadly walked back to her tatami and slouched in a sitting position. Seeming to die from boredom she took out her medical information records on other people that she was required to remember by order of Itsuka.

Time didn't seem to go any faster. Doing work just made it worse. Groaning Sakura refused to herself that she was going to finish her work for this night. "Geez, I think I'm starting to slack off like Naruto." Rubbing her forehead she jumped when she heard something falling upstairs. "Nan desu ta?"

Her legs wouldn't let her stand and check out what that was. "Oh come on Sakura, you're in ANBU and this is scaring you already!" she muttered to herself. Clamping her mouth shut she managed to force herself to stand but couldn't make it to walk. "Great… it's like stage fright or something." Taking a step around her low table she froze when she felt a sudden movement of wind around her.

Sakura didn't dare breath for a moment nor speak.

"Sakura, I can't believe you're scared already."

Emerald orbs widening after hearing that voice, Sakura breathed again. She didn't want to turn her head to find that she was just… going crazy or just having a hallucination but what if it was real? Weakly laughing with utter doubt in her voice her words actually surpassed the wall. "Tell me that this is just a joke, Naruto. We talked about this already and you promised that-"

With skill he disappeared and re-appeared in front of her, grabbing her wrist. "Does this seem like some joke, Sakura? Well it's not if don't happen to notice that."

A strong grip, pale white skin, jet-black raven hair, and those eyes… those dark, onyx handsome eyes.

Holding in her cry Sakura shut her eyes and turned her head to her right. "Why all of a sudden? You just left and now you're back just like that!" Sniffing a stray tear fell from her left eye.

It didn't bother him a bit, just seeing her struggle with her mind and reality. It was nothing. It didn't matter to him but he was going to get what he needed and wanted. "I don't have to explain myself," the Uchiha muttered dangerously.

Startled Sakura managed to shake him off and jumped a good ways distance away from him. Pain flowing through her body… into her heart she slowly brought her eyes to his face. He didn't change much just that he looked much more mature and cold loosing that roundness of his face that he had before.

"But why?…." she cried. "Why? You don't even have the right to come in here just like this."

Smirking, he thought, _Hn, and I thought that she would be more welcoming. _"And you don't have the right to force information out of me."

"Can't you at least tell me why you're back?" Sakura rubbed her arms not believing anything at the moment.

Putting a hip on his hand he tilted his head and gazed at her quietly. It wasn't the time yet to make his move. He was going to have to take it slow but he wouldn't tell her directly, for sure. "Hn."

"Don't talk to me like that!" Sakura sighed to herself. _Some things still didn't change about him, _she thought. Taking a step towards him by her own according matter she asked, "Then Sasuke-"

It caught his attention, she no longer called him without the suffix for the first time.

"-I could help you. Anything that would help you heal." Lifting her head so that their eyes met his pair showed no sign of affection.

But at the same moment the genius had thought of something already. His first move that would lead him to defeating Orochimaru. "There is one thing," he muttered quietly. "But it's more of a statement then asking something from you." _Huh, like it did matter to me._

"Huh?" Sakura asked almost startled.

Sasuke bore his sharp gaze into her pained jade orbs. "I came back because of you."

* * *

**Japanese Translations:**

Once again I've translated the Japanese in this chapter. Oh, and I correct myself from the other chapter before this one. It is the first word in the list.

**Oniisan: Older brother:** (Sorry! -- I forgot that there was a silent "o" before "Niisan". Well that's corrected!

**Chikusho:** Damn/ damn it!

**Nani: **What

**Aitsume:** Damn him/her

**Kuso:** damn, shit

"**Chotto hen na kimochi ga shimasu, Sasuke-kun":** "It feels a bit strange, Sasuke-kun?"

**Matsu:** Wait

**Zannen desu:** That's too bad.

**Hai:** Yes/yeah

**Ramen:** Japanese noodles.

**Henka no jutsu:** Transformation technique.

(henka): Transformation

(no jutsu): technique

**Daijobu desu ka: **Are you okay?

**Daijobu desu: **I'm okay/It's alright

**a/n:** Well I took a while to update, didn't I? Sorry to keep you guys waiting it was just that I was loaded with homework and the term end exams. Ja, sayonara for now!

-Lenna


	5. Move It

-1**A/n: **Lol, gomen! -- I'll try to lessen up the Japanese since one of my reviewers gave me that piece of advice. I guess… Instead of big sentences I'll just stick with the little ones, fine with you guys? I was just hoping that I was teaching some people new words and stuff.

Also for the long break between update? Gomen nasai! I was just wondering if I should keep going on with the storyline that I wrote on paper or not…

Anyways on with the chapter!

**000**

"_-I could help you. Anything that would help you heal." Lifting her head so that their eyes met his pair showed no sign of affection._

_But at the same moment the genius had thought of something already. His first move that would lead him to defeating Orochimaru. "There is one thing," he muttered quietly. "But it's more of a statement then asking something from you." 'Huh, like it did matter to me.'_

"_Huh?" Sakura asked almost startled._

_Sasuke bore his sharp gaze into her pained jade orbs. "I came back because of you."_

**000**

**Chapter 4**

**Move it**

His words echoed in her ears sinking into her mind. Was this all a lie or was it reality? She couldn't seem to bring herself to say anything. Her eyes slowly broke away from his gaze falling to the floor, hands tangled with each other.

"So don't expect me to leave right away, Sakura. I'm going to stay for a while."

Abruptly she jerked her head up and yelled, somewhat quiet at the same time, "And then what? You're just going to leave me again? Do you know what you put me through all those years?"

The words that escaped her mouth didn't have any effect on him he didn't care. "Would you just be quiet and be thankful that I'm back?" She clamped her mouth shut falling to the floor on the other side of the table. Sasuke sat down at the opposite side from her.

When the pink haired hiccupped onyx orbs looked up from the surface of the table and stared at her. Apparently she was crying- of what though? It didn't matter to him nothing would make him get attached to her- it would only ruin his plans. If the matter was caused from him returning at such an abrupt time, Sasuke considered her as the weak kunoichi that she had always been.

Sakura wiped away her stray tears and bore her gaze into the polished wood of her table. Say… where were her parents this evening? Chest heaving from holding her cries, Sakura hiccupped once again, eyes becoming more dull and empty.

Somewhat taken back Sasuke found himself wanting to ask her confirmation if she was okay or not. Instead he kept his thoughts to himself and watched her questioningly.

"You don't know what I went through the past years Sasuke." At first her words were hard for him to hear but he caught up to everything a few seconds later on. He let out a breath afterwards not daring to open his mouth for any of his own comments towards her, therefore she continued on her own will.

"I've been hurting - a lot." There was a little, hoarse chuckle in her voice which surprised him a bit. "Not that you would care in any way," she added sadly. "When I mean 'hurt' I don't just mean hurt physically but…" managing to continue, she scoffed out, "mentally. I've seen a lot more bloodshed now and I know what is to be lonely.

"My Otosan two years ago was killed by foreign nins from another village and do you know what nin village that was?" There was no desire from him what so ever to ask with his voice. A stare was enough. "Sound," she whispered, "the village that Orochimaru was the head of." He flinched from hearing that dreadful name.

Dull jade orbs painfully looking up from the table surface and meeting up with his onyx ones, Sasuke felt like she was telling him too much. "I don't live with my Okasan anymore… she… she moved into the facility where the head of my ANBU team lives." Sasuke's lips parted slightly light breaths escaping, _She's in ANBU_? "My Okasan feels that just living with me and without a man in the house, it isn't safe. So I live alone… so I am glad that you came… so I won't be entirely lonely."

Eyes falling, Sasuke felt something in his chest. _She is not going to get at me like this, this fast. It isn't right for me, not yet at least. Was everything she was telling me true? Her father… her mother abandoning her, moving into some facility. Was she really that lonely?_

"Well, anyways, would you like something to eat, Sasuke?" There was a sudden change in her voice. Furrowing his eyebrows slightly he shook his head and remained silent. "Well that's your problem then I have some work to do," she sighed quite carelessly.

He watched her take out her paperwork refraining from peeking on what was it on. "You know, I could just tell Tsunade-sama that you're here. You're an S-class missing nin and if I tell I could get a higher position…." She stated tapping her pen on the table top.

Words didn't come out of his mouth. _If she tells, everything will be over for Konoha. _"Don't," he hissed. "If you will, consider having your life shortened by half."

She stared at him puzzled but decided to not ask what he really meant. Sighing she shook her head and asked quietly, "How long do you think you're going to be staying here. Don't take it personally but," her eyes looked up to meet his, "it's going to be hard to not get caught…"

The Uchiha muttered something under his breath to quiet to let her hear. Instead he replied, saying, "Don't underestimate me, I'm an Uchiha." Annoyed from talking more than usually he grunted, "Do you mind if I get some sleep now?"

"Do you want to sleep in a bed, the couch or a fu-"

"A futon." He always considered futons were better since he was eight. Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows turning his back to her looking through his bag.

"What are you looking for?" Sakura asked shifting towards him. From an unbalanced position she tipped over from looking over his shoulder. It looked like Sasuke was on fire as soon as she came into contact with his back. She fell to the floor with him backed up against a wall. Her hands supported her, palms pressed up against the hardwood floor.

"What the hell was that for?" words hissed out of his mouth. After so many years he'd forgotten how close Sakura could get to him.

Painfully, and with a one-sided grin Sakura looked up from the floor and to his face. Still, she was trying to regain herself. "Aaa, itai. Well sorry, Mister Don't-ever-touch-me-even-in-an-accident! I just wanted to know what you were looking for." Sitting up and crossing her legs she continued, "Plus, you never responded so how was I supposed to know what to do!"

"Easy," he muttered brushing off the front of his shirt, "think of something else besides touching me!"

Sakura stood with a little, _Hmph. _"Fine, whatever. Get upstairs and into the room where you'll be sleeping. I too have to go to sleep soon too."

To his surprise he felt a little heat rising up his cheeks. "Nani?"

"What?" the soft-pink haired teen asked simply.

Finally realizing that he had misunderstood and rather keep the details to himself he shook his head and answered, "Nothing," with a little sigh. As Sakura walked up the stairs his eyes followed her. Thoughts found their way into his head.

Licking his lips he thought, _I'll give myself two more days to get it all settled out… No make that one. By tomorrow night I will have to speak to Tsunade myself. _"SASUKE? Where are you, I thought you wanted to-"

"Shut up, I'm coming!" he yelled from the bottom of the stairs. Muttering words under his breath he made his way up.

_This, _he said in his mind, _is going to be a long night._

**A/n:** I don't think that I have to translate anything this chapter except for itai. It means ouch. Anyways after reading through this again I thought that it was a bit too cruddy. Anyways I'll try to make it up for you guys next chapter. :D

-kawaii.sasuke

Toodles!


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